Breaking Old Patterns


"Every act of self-care is a powerful declaration: I am on my side, I am on my side, each day I am more and more on my own side.”

– Susan Weiss Berry


The Fall Equinox is less than 2 weeks away marking the first day of Fall and our official decent into the colder, darker months. The heat and expansion of the Summer months has churned us all on many levels. The transition into these grounding months ahead is an excellent time to tend to and honor all aspects of ourselves: our bodies, our minds, our spirits, and our hearts.

It is an optimal time of year to look at, with candor, what it is we are wanting to let go of to create the space for what truly feeds us.

It is an ideal time to take stock of our lives. To look at what aspects feel as though they are supportive of living our truest, most vibrantly alive selves.

To take notice of what is not. What patterns, behaviors, people, addictions, and ways of being are actually causing more harm than good at this juncture?

Breaking old patterns refers to interrupting a cycle that is interfering with your capacity to show up for your life in a present, truthful, integral, open-hearted, and kind manner. Letting go of old patterns in relationships, ways of relating to others, addictions to things such as food, drugs, people, shopping, exercise, social media, negative self-talk, self-sabotage, reactivity…The list is endless. They can be subtle patterns that are interfering or can be more dramatic and obvious patterns.

Breaking old patterns requires action and is generally not a comfortable or “easy” task. It is always very interesting for me in witnessing my own process around letting go of that which is not serving me, as well as what I witness in working with clients. What is abundantly present is tremendous resistance to letting go of things/actions/people/behaviors that are so clearly not serving. There is a level of fear of letting go of these ways of being, of stepping into unknown territory, and a certain comfort in the suffering.

As we make this transition into the beautiful months of Fall, perhaps there are some ways in which you feel moved to create changes in your life through letting go of that which does not serve you.

I suggest asking yourself these questions and spending some time journaling in your own inquiry:

  • Is there any pattern in your life that feels as though it is inhibiting you from living a full and happy existence?

  • Is there anything that you are engaging in on any level that feels outdated and harmful to who you are?

  • What do you know that you are needing to change/shift/let go of during this transition?

  • What is it that keeps you in relationship, in connection, in dialogue with the people, situations, substances, addictions, etc. that you know do not enhance your state of being and, if anything, are perhaps hindering it?

  • At what point do you say ‘enough is enough?

  • At what point do you get to when feeling good and moving forward in life is more important than continuing to engage with these people/situations/substances?

I feel that everyone has their own turning point. That moment in which there is recognition that this (whatever it is for you) is not serving my highest good. This needs to stop. I need to stop.

And, what I know to be true is that it takes a lot of courage and a willingness to be able to sit with that uncomfortableness and remind yourself that you are not going to die and that you will come through on the other side.

We all, as humans, have those patterns in us which keep us stuck at certain points in our evolution and growth. Bringing awareness to what we are habitually doing, and then taking action to work with these ways, we have the opportunity to let go of that which is interfering with our ability to show up for our lives.

Letting go of that which is draining us, debilitating us, and keeping us stuck in ways of living is a great act on our own behalf. We can then create the space for what actually nourishes us, holds us, enlivens us, and inspires us.

The letting go process can be approached in countless ways. I offer you some simple and tangible ways of navigating this terrain:

  • Create awareness: Tune into your inner self through meditation and other mindfulness practices. Listen to those inner voices of truth, hear them, and respond accordingly.

  • Allow the nervous system to settle and rest: Invite in some breathing room so as to create some separation from these habitual ways of living and being. Create intentional moments of allowing your body and system to rest and unwind so as to interrupt the cycles and habitual patterns of responding and relating.

  • Come back to the breath: When you find yourself reaching for the drink or the phone or the bag of cookies come into your breath, feel your body, and connect to the present moment. Our breath is always there to remind us of our wholeness and innate goodness.

  • Mantras: Working with the minds patterning through using mantras is a beautiful way of interrupting the cycle of habitual responses. Repeating mantras throughout your day helps to re-train the mind toward positivity and possibility. Some suggested mantras are: It is safe to let go. I release what no longer serves me. I breathe in love and possibilities. I breathe out anything that is interfering with my life. I am love.

Allow this season of Fall to support you, to honor you, inspire you, and lift you.

May you let go of that which no longer serves you so that you can reach upwards towards your dreams, live from a place of truth, integrity, presence, and love, and become the brightest version of who you truly are – aligned and embodied.