Breathe With Your Life
Last weekend, I found myself crammed in the middle seat of an airplane while traveling with my son and partner. Cozy, yes, but also extremely uncomfortable.
As I was surrendering into this configuration while the airplane was taking off, I was ready to recline and give myself (and my back!) some extra support, only to discover that the button was broken and the seat did not recline. The irony is that we had chosen this row with our early seating option and here I was stuck, feeling like a sardine, sitting uncomfortably upright.
After my initial irritation at both Kai, who had chosen our row, and then Michael, who was just there, I surrendered and began to tune into my breath. I realized very quickly that I unconsciously had stopped breathing into my belly and had accumulated full body tension in this discovery.
As I started encouraging my breath to fill my entire body, my cells, my muscles, and my bones, the energy began to shift from within me. My body relaxed into the unease, softened into the tension, and a feeling of spaciousness and levity lifted me out of my contraction.
I felt clear in my mind and grounded in my body.
Not surprisingly, of course, this moment reminded me of how often we, (and, I say that with integrity as a fellow human who is certainly in the “we” category around my own evolution), hold our breath in midst of so much of life’s unfolding. Why do we do this?
I believe that many do out of habit and many do out of a trauma response, whether directly or indirectly.
When our nervous systems become so habituated to collapse, contract, and hold on for dear life at the first sign of challenge, it is difficult to repattern that. It is a continuous practice to remember to breathe in the face of even seemingly small or benign events. Our systems may not know that, until, over time, we retrain them to respond otherwise.
In my example above, I recognized very quickly that I had a choice here….I could choose to be very annoyed and uncomfortable for the entirety of our 2 and ½ hour flight or I could choose to breathe with my life in that moment.
That was, for me, a classic moment of putting my decades of practice into motion, but also a deep awareness that I do have a significant amount of trauma running through my system and that I need to bring my full attention and intention into continuing to unwind it with diligence and compassion.
A very benign moment in time and that choice, opened me and softened me and resourced me deeply to not only enjoy the flight but to subsequently have a wonderful weekend with family in Chicago. I know that “if” I had chosen to be miserable on the flight, “then” it would have leaked into my ability to relax and enjoy the weekend ahead.
How often do you find yourself holding your breath? Are you aware of this pattern? As if fully exhaling, we will lose “control” over our lives or will not be able to accomplish everything we need/want to?
How often do we resist the flow of life?
Hold our breath literally or figuratively until things shift or change?
What would happen if we chose to breathe with the flow of our lives?
How could things shift for us if we allowed ourselves to melt into the ridges of life, softened, surrendered, and opened in midst of all of the varying flavors and textures of being human?
The question here is how can we breathe with our lives in midst of the busyness of things…the uncomfortable and contracting moments…in midst of all of the balls that we are juggling?
Many may find themselves at different phases of their lives experiencing what I call the “If/Then” syndrome….”if” this happens or this is a particular way or if so and so did this, “then” I can show up in the way that I want to, relax, be happy, feel successful, etc etc… Or, perhaps, thinking that “when” this happens “then” I will be able to relax, exhale, be happy (whatever the story or circumstance is for each individual). **My online coaching program and women’s circle dive into these sticky waters in depth**
The invitation here is to choose to breathe with your life…NOW….no matter what is happening in and around you. To breathe with it all….all of the human moments…the overwhelm, the fear, the discomfort, the unknown, the sadness, the grief, the joy….ALL OF IT.
What if we were to choose to breathe into our lives right now, exactly as they are?
How would that shift our state of being on the whole?
What does it mean to “breathe with our lives”?
· No more resistance!
· A deep surrender and trust.
· Acceptance for what is and from that place we can change and grow and morph in amazing ways.
· A sense of calm in the storm and peace in the process.
· Gain clarity in the fog.
· Spaciousness in the body from the inside out.
· More ground and presence in our everyday interactions.
· Deepening energetic well of possibility in our being.
· Opportunity to land in our truest selves and move through life with authentic alignment.
· Open to more joy and love in life…FOR LIFE.
Next time you are faced with a situation in your flow of life that causes contraction, tension, collapse, irritation, and/or any feeling or sensation that constricts your energy, perhaps choose to take those deep breaths, to breathe deeply down into yourself, to breathe with your life.