Alignment & Self-Abandonment

Today’s letter and offering to you lands on my son's official 16th birthday! I truly can hardly believe that I have a 16-year old...that in and of itself is a shock to my system and feels important to share as it is resonant with my message this week.
 
For 11+ years, Kai and I were on our own...it was challenging to say the least…and, those years granted me with the opportunity to access a layer of healing in myself that informed next level growth in me personally and professionally. Those many years of solo mothering added fuel to the flames of passion and purpose that had been lit decades ago, yet needed the kindling of those years to set into motion the fire that needed to be burned.
 

 Alignment and Self-Abandonment

 
The wheels of life continue to turn offering each and every one of us the opportunity for self-reflection.
 
We have all been and continue to be challenged and nudged around our place in this wild world, who we are on the most authentic and aligned levels, who our true people are, and what is most important to us as things shift and change rapidly.
 
There has been a lot up for evaluation as we are in the process of completing a cycle that began nearly 30 years ago (in 1996). If you think back to where you were 30 years ago (and, for some of you, likely not even born or very young children!), the world was drastically different.
 
For me, I have been reflecting upon where I was 30-years ago. Tapping into the energy of celebration and recognition of the immense path of growth and healing that I have embarked on these past 3 decades since landing myself in an inpatient treatment center as a young, early-20-something deep in addiction. 
 
Simultaneously, I have been feeling waves of grief around what could have been. A natural aspect of honest and truthful reflection of ourselves and our life path.
 
There are many pieces of this particular puzzle that I am called to share as I also have been seeing and hearing similar themes with clients as they are each on their own unique trajectory of life.
 
Something that I know is so hard in moments of life is around trusting that we are exactly where we need to be in any given moment.
 
No matter if we feel as though we "should" be further along or in a different space, etc. etc., when we can drop into the place of acceptance of ourselves and our life's journey while simultaneously continuing to dream and vision our future, we have the opportunity to ground ourselves in the moment from a place of TRUST.
 
In referencing the above personal example, I certainly am working with my own system around trusting that all that I navigated for all of those years, all of the hours upon hours of healing work that I dove into, all of the gunk and struggle that I learned how to work through, the trauma and drama, addictive patterns, etc. etc.
 
They all led me to this moment in time and all were incredibly valuable for my personal life path, story, and work in the world.
 
There is also great wisdom and medicine in turning towards ourselves in harder moments along the healing path. When things feel challenging, it can be a natural (conscious or unconscious) choice to turn away from ourselves and look outward for the love, care, support, validation, and/or acceptance that we may be needing.
 
Looking outward to get our unmet needs filled...
 
Yet, THESE are the moments when turning within and holding ourselves with that love, care, acceptance, support, validation, or whatever it is that we are individually craving…is GOLD.

These are the moments along our path that imprint our systems on the deepest of levels around our WORTH....our ability to give and receive love...our strength and power that becomes unshakable with time and practice.
 
I think of my own journey of healing, of recovery, of embodiment....there have been many, VERY dark moments along the path, without a doubt. As an addict, I have needed to be very mindful and vigilant around how I meet myself in those darker, more challenging moments.
 
Much to say about this imprint and pattern, yet the main thing that I am moved to share is that I am aware that those moments along my own path of darkness -- when I would stay in the fire, turn within and hold myself close, release the need for someone or something to fill me/hold me/comfort me/give me validation -- a new layer of healing was accessed.
 
A strength and power from deep within that carried me through those harder moments as they unfolded.
 
No one can do this work for us. Stay close to yourselves as you navigate challenging and darker experiences, feelings, emotions...these moments will shift the trajectory of your life.
 
Turn within.
Pour on the self-love.
Stay true to yourself.
Trust in what feels aligned for you NOW.
Give yourself what you are seeking from others.
DO NOT SELF-ABANDON.
Stay present in the moment while simultaneously planting seeds, dreaming, and visioning your future.
 
 

Take good care of yourselves and be kind to each other. 

 
 As always, if you are struggling, please know that you are not alone.